Day Twenty-Eight: And In The End...

Day 28, here we are. The end of the road. The last hoo-rah. The final day of my 28 day challenge/project/research. I set out to follow a meal plan 100%. I endeavored to get out of an eating disorder. I set out on a quest to be my idea of "normal." So the question is...did I fulfill my quest? Did I make it to my goal? Am I "normal"?

Through my project, I've learned that I am able to do things that I set my mind to. I was never able to follow a meal plan because I didn't have the motivation to do so, but once I got it, I did it. I also learned that following a meal plan is hard and not very fun. I constantly thought about what I was going to eat next and how I would get all of my servings in. It changed my obsession with food from thinking about how badly I wanted it but not eating it out of fear, to obsessing over how to eat everything I needed to. I also learned that I may have OCD, or at least I have obsessive tendencies regarding food. I learned that I won't get "fat" by eating normal amounts of food, or simply eating the foods that I fear. Most importantly I learned a lot about myself, my abilities, and (most most importantly) my faith.

There were certain things that I liked and disliked about the project, obviously. Some things that I liked were getting to eat like a normal person, feeling motivated to follow the challenge, getting to experience some foods that I hadn't eaten in a long time, and I actually really enjoyed blogging. The things I disliked included the constant obsession over food, the times when I had to get a lot of servings in at the end of the day because I neglected to get them earlier in the day, and just thinking about how badly I wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted to (a.k.a. intuitive eating).

In regards to the rules that I set for myself, I followed all of them! Now, I'm not going to act like I'm #perf, because I'm not. I don't think that I got all of my servings in all of the time like I thought/hoped I did, I obsessed over food (like no other), I felt a touch of guilt once or twice for what I ate, and I chewed gum every now and then (mainly to focus when I was driving). I only missed IOP one day because I had to go to Nashville for Fall break. Other than that, I did really well!

Now that the project is over, only a couple of questions remain: what exactly does it take to be "normal"? How much longer will it be until I honestly 100% eat intuitively? What is my metabolism doing? Will my eating disordered thoughts take over? Will I ever be "normal" again? Are my obsessive thoughts caused by
 malnutrition? Will I stop thinking about them once I'm nourished? Will I get the passions that I once had back? Will I get a longer attention span? And then just your average questions...what is the meaning of life?

Now that it's over, will I go on? Well, duh. Will I keep blogging? Probably, but not every day. I'm going to do something to celebrate my success with this challenge and the end of my blog, but I don't know when. I'll definitely take sweet pix and write about it. For now, though, I'm at my friend Janelyn's house with some of my other friends, so I'm going to wrap it up. After all, it's normal to have a sleepover and eat pizza and talk until 4 in the morning and watch movies with your friends. I don't want to be blogging all night; good grief.

Day Twenty-Two: A Trip to The Fresh Market

Today I took a trip to The Fresh Market in Brentwood. I passed it the other day when my cousin and I were driving around, and I thought that it looked interesting. I don't know if it's because of my eating disorder, or if it really is my personality and something that I really enjoy, but for the past few years, I've really liked going to grocery stores and markets. I would imagine that it is the eating disorder, but then again, I've always had an interest in food, and it could be that I've turned into what is now known as a "foodie" (which I think is an eating disorder in itself). Nonetheless, I get excited over farmers markets and cool grocery stores and the like.

I walked into The Fresh Market and was instantly hit with the sensation that makes me enjoy certain grocery stores: a cool atmoshphere, warm decor, beautiful flowers, bountiful produce, and wooden accents. The lighting was lovely and it set a nice ambiance for grocery shopping (because some people need that for their shopping experiences, you know).

What I found upon entering The Fresh Market.

 Upon entering, I came upon the glory of all grocery store glories: coffee samples. Oh yes. I tried the Kona coffee sample they had (despite the fact that I was carrying a cup of Starbucks); it was okay. I was just thrilled with the fact that it was there. Next to the samples was the bulk coffee. I found the flavored varieties, and then became a weirdo to anyone who was watching me, as I smelled every one of them...totally worth it. The scents were intoxicating, specifically the tiramisu roast. I really, really considered buying some, but I'm cheap and couldn't justify spending money on coffee when I could get it on my meal plan at school, and it's not vital for survival (or at least it shouldn't be).

The coffee sample section at The Fresh Market.

I moved on to the produce, a fresh, hippie oasis. The colors were what caught my eye the most: the bright greens of the greens, the beautiful red hue of the pomegranates, and the vibrant orange of the citrus. Next was the seafood, which all looked appetizing, and then to the bakery. I picked up a box of pie, and I was astonished because the box was warm: it was fresh. I had never experienced such a thing. I observed the surpisingly limited dairy section, and then found m.y way over to the equally small frozen section. All was well until I spied...

Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream. Ridiculous.

Now, let me just have my little rant. Jeni's ice cream is a Columbus thing. It ALWAYS wins "Best Ice Cream" awards in town, and literally EVERYONE is obsessed with it. They have weird flavors and it's the "hipster", "foodie", "avant garde" thing to like. I heard of it a few years ago, so with all of the hype, obviously I had to try it. When I did, I couldn't fathom what the deal was; it was mediocre at best and approximately $6 for one cone. I could get ice cream I really enjoyed at McDonalds and spend $5 less. Look at the price: $10.99...for a pint of ice cream...A FRIGGIN PINT. Why in God's name would anyone spend that much money on something like less than good ice cream? Why? How can people have such bad/little taste? These are the thoughts that went through my mind as I went through the frozen food section. I walked away thinking that I really shouldn't get so upset over this ice cream brand, but I do every time I see anything about it.

Next came the soaps and personal hygeine items, where I found different scented crystals of something that I determined to be bath salts. I smelled them (I have a thing for smelling), and decided that the grapefruit scent was the best. I moved through the aisles of dry foods, looked at the teas (the prices of which could support one of those sad children in third-world countries, or one of the puppies that Sarah McClachlan tortures), and then looked over the bins of bulk foods. My eye was caught by these chocolate, peanut butter, pretzel balls, chocolate covered banana chips, and little energy chews. I walked back towards where I began my excursion and found the candy area. It was like Willy Wonka threw a little seed and it grew into a little candy area; it was so cute and alluring.

The candy section of The Fresh Market.

I found myself at the end of my journey, back to the coffee area. I went back to the flavored coffees, and had round two of the "to get the tiramisu coffee, or not to get the tiramisu coffee" debate. My frugality got me again, and I left tiramisu coffee-less. I did however go back to the bakery and picked up a cherry pie for my cousins because I overheard them mention that they liked cherry pie. I proceeded to the checkout, which was very small and the entrances were narrow, as they were suurrounded by displays of Fall-themed treats. I bought my pie with my debit card, making it the third time that I've used plastic to make a purchase. I'm so old.

My receipt from The Fresh Market. And a book about a tractor that I bought for my cousin.

So is it of my eating disorder that I like going to grocery stores? Maybe. Should I stop going? Perhaps. Will I? I don't know. I wish that I didn't have a hobby in grocery shopping, I can't help it. There are much worse things that I could be doing, so if I want to walk around a store and smell things without the intent or act of buying anything, who's going to stop me? Well, maybe the management, I suppose. Until that day, or until the day where I no longer get pleasure out of meandering around a grocery store, I'll continue to go to my favorite grocery stores and markets when I get the chance. If I pass a Whole Foods and have time or nothing better to do, I'll drop in and look around. It's too bad that there isn't another Fresh Market around me, though. I really enjoyed that store and the atmosphere of it. I give it four out of four wheels on the grocery cart.